Month 9 See dem Piggies!

I revealed my profile on sites 4 and 5 again as was getting a bit frustrated with nothing moving forward. I was contacted by a guy in Manchester, shan’t give him a name initial as we shan’t be talking again but he is 54 years old. He made initial contact and I wasn’t overly attracted and as he lived a long distance away, said there wasn’t any mileage in keeping contact, but he persisted so I agreed to talk on KIK for a while to see how it went. It started off ok and whilst he was quite explicit from the outset, I went along with it for a day or two. However, he was into a type of roleplay which although I went along with it the first time, when he ‘stayed in character’ each time he contacted me I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with it. I challenged him about it more than once. He said eventually that he’d decided to drop it with me but wanted to stay in touch as he felt there was a real connection, I disagreed and said I didn’t think there was. Instead of just saying good-bye and leaving it at that, he sent me a last message saying I am obviously too old and set in my ways to change. He said that I say I’m willing to try things but am not open minded. He continued that he would delete my contact details and I just replied that maybe he’s right and that I would do the same. His idea of roleplay was incestuous and he said I needed to divorce roleplay from reality but I’m not  ashamed of being uncomfortable with that sort of activity and I was even more cross that he was asking questions about my own children. Some people do leave a nasty taste in the mouth and he’s one who has. I should have followed first instincts.

Thank goodness there were still others in regular contact who make me feel good about myself. I also resurrected 3 contacts who had shown interest in the past but I hadn’t really had time to follow through and meet. In addition I had one or two new contacts, in particular G (41) from Bridge who contacted me on Saturday and we met on the seafront of my home town the next day. A Bohemian individual, who would not usually be ‘my type’ but is obviously very intelligent and he certainly interested me. We spent a few hours ‘pub crawling’ round the town but it was difficult to find somewhere both comfortable and quiet to chat. We parted with a kiss and an agreement to meet again soon. Indeed later agreed to meet the following Saturday

I was already committed to go to Suffolk for a couple of days this week and planned to meet T (55) from Great Yarmouth on the first day and D (61) from Ipswich on the second. I duly trundled up the A12 but the pub I had chosen to stay in was truly out ‘in the sticks’ and I had trouble finding it. I didn’t arrive till just after 2pm and the kitchen had stopped serving food. As I’d left home without breakfast, I was disappointed. They couldn’t even make me a sandwich as the oven was being deep cleaned and the kitchen was out of bounds, not a happy bunny! Both meetings happened but sadly did not quite come up to expectations for different reasons, no-one’s fault but disappointing. I was supposed to have another first date on Friday evening too (strangely with someone from my ‘jinxed’ area where nothing works out) and true to form he cancelled.

Saturday arrived and I met again with G (41) of Bridge, he was supposed to be bringing a DVD to mine to watch as he’s a bit of a film buff but sadly he forgot it and my collection is not much to his taste – he likes small budget British films and old B movies not Hollywood blockbusters. Never mind, we found something to view whilst we chatted and shared a bottle or two of wine. I know we shall have quite a friendship.

My dear friend and ‘woman of the world’ has this small garden statue which I have always found amusing. I think now is a good time to share a picture of it with you as it may be my last blog. Is this ‘bringing home the bacon’?

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I am due to meet R (67) from Twickenham on Wednesday afternoon. I shall continue to keep in touch with guys I am already talking to but shall not seek new friends for now so this may be my last blog on the subject but time will tell. Since starting my journey last October, I have had 15 first dates (most of them pleasant, if not likely to lead anywhere) and 4 second dates so I really don’t think that is excessive. I have found the whole experience enlightening and enjoyable and if I decide to return to dating sites, I’ll be so much better prepared next time.

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Month 8 (Part 3) Nearing the end of the journey

I feel slightly in a state of limbo, excited but a little nervous about the week-end ahead when I hope to meet the gent who has made me this tempting offer and how it might be pivotal to my future life, yet, at the same time, a bit irritated because a lot of fellows I am hoping to meet up with are unable to find the time or source a suitable venue or whatever just when I am ready to move forward. How very dare they not be available at the click of my fingers! I think my Domme personality is beginning to raise its head but not necessarily with the right people, though having read the blog, two or three men have offered to let me take charge!  I have hidden my profile on both dating sites again till things sort themselves out. I have plenty of contacts for now and will see how things go. Some go back almost to the start of my dating journey though we haven’t met yet but they are obviously still interested so I won’t be greedy and encourage more!

Research is still continuing into D/s relationships and how they work and I’m even watching occasional porn clips which I would have been appalled at watching a few months ago. How my boundaries have moved! Even now, I can’t say I enjoy porn but am more interested from a technical point of view.

I think also maybe my blog has run its course. It was never meant to be about my sex life but about my dating journey and whether next week-end’s meeting, assuming it goes ahead, is successful or not, and whether I finally decide to follow that course with my life, I can certainly say I have had the most mind-blowing journey and I’ve enjoyed sharing it. I have also been gratified by the comments and messages of support I’ve received from interested readers. I never thought it would have the wider appeal it seems to have gathered en route. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something else to blog about? I shall certainly write for at least one more week as I 69think some regular  followers may be interested but I’ll see after that. I’m not sure where the journey could now take me and I don’t want it to become boring. It was my birthday a few days ago, I am now 69 which has been commented that it’s an interesting number to be, maybe that’s why it is time to stop writing and start living more.

Month 8 (part 2) Domme training!

Well who’d have thought it? I, the archetypal ‘vanilla sex’ girl, is considering becoming a Domme to a very nice man if we get on well enough when we meet. Although my earlier reading has made me more knowledgeable about the world of BDSM, I didn’t really think I would be considering making this my future sex life! Not sure all my other potential dates would like to see me that way either, I guess, but shall certainly carry on dating till decisions are made and if it does work out, some may be happy to be ‘Friends with Benefits’ as it seems that is allowed in my new role.

If I do agree to go that route, I will embrace it to the best of my ability, hence, once again DommeI am reading avidly books and recommended websites. It actually all sounds pretty awesome! I am aware I’ve always been a bit on the bossy side, a natural organiser and leader but never visualised myself as a Domme. Thank goodness he says I don’t have to dress in leather and wield a whip! I’ll try and keep an open mind but am becoming more and more attracted to the idea the more I talk to him about it. I also need to be very sure that I am making any commitment for the right reasons, there is a lot to consider, not least my Christian faith, which is important to me. Have even discussed the possibility with my vicar, all a bit distressing but heard nothing I wasn’t expecting. However, I am still trying to square the circle and don’t need to make decisions yet.

Meanwhile other dating chats continue. R (67) of Twickenham hadn’t taken offence at my blog at all, he’d just been poorly so not in touch. We postponed our date till he is fully recovered and I am less busy. M (42) of London has also been back in touch. It seems he just can stay away and just as I blogged how proud of him I was for giving me up!!

R of Twickenham is, by his own admission becoming RR (Randy R…). There are frequent chats and video calls, I seem to be taking daily selfies for him – and others – and I hate being in photos at the best of times but then it seems I am becoming a new woman so perhaps that is why I am taking it in my stride.

I will also not put up with guys who only know me slightly through chat and / or one meeting, telling me what I should or should not be doing with my sex life. I put my point of view but if they don’t accept it then I can’t be bothered with them. Luckily I am fortunate to have options and will make my own mind up what I will or won’t do in my own time and my own way so G of Chelmsford (who thinks I’m greener than Kermit) and D of Charing have joined others in the reject file

I thought I was actually going to get a massage this week from A (55) from Westgate but we need somewhere discreet and he wasn’t available mid-week on an evening when I was free and he can’t afford the price of a hotel room at week-end rates and I’m sure not paying for it so that will stay in abeyance for now.

Very much looking forward to a meeting, hopefully next week, with S (60) of Wisbech and maybe R of Twickenham soon too so hope springs eternal.

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Month 8 (Part 1) – “I can resist anything except temptation” – Oscar Wilde

Was told my last blog was depressing and when queried this with another was told that while it might not be depressing was maybe a little glum! Such are the ups and downs of dating but don’t wish to be either glum or depressing so happy to announce that this week has been much brighter!

It has been an interesting week: thought I had a date booked on Friday with the guy who last stood me up because he had to wait in for a parcel to be delivered. (Asked him what was in the parcel and he said a router so I told him he could think of me each time he used it and sent him a saucy pic!). Well I’d made him wait six weeks or so for another chance and eventually he made it back on the list. When we fixed the date a week ago I said not to let me down again and to confirm by mid-week if it was going ahead. Nothing heard so he’s in the reject file too and blocked on WhatsApp.

That said, another guy with the same forename but from a different town made contact, was very keen to meet and even took time off work to do so. At least with the first one deleted, I won’t send stuff to the wrong person! I met B (51) from Westbrook in a nearby town. We’d chatted on WhatsApp from the beginning as he was only on site 5 for a couple of days as was playing ducks and drakes with someone from work on the same site and didn’t want her to see him there. Apparently gossip is rife. We got on so well we agreed to meet within two days of first making contact but the weather was against us. It absolutely teemed with rain, so much so that he’d have got soaked in seconds walking to our agreed meeting place so I drove closer to pick him up. Windows were steamed up even before I met him and the rain was relentless. We abandoned the idea of a drink in a local hostelry as we’d have looked like drowned rats before we’d made it out of the car park so just drove to the cliffs and had our ‘get to know you’ type chat there and enjoyed each other’s company for a couple of hours.

Rain On Screen LargeG (51) of Chelmsford mentioned in Month 4 (part 2) blog got in touch again and said he’d like to meet; likewise S (60) from Wisbech, with whom I had been chatting on and off for over a month, who said he would soon be visiting his son who lives relatively locally.  I’d already arranged a date with R (67) of Twickenham for next week, though now actually think that last week’s blog has irritated him so he may not show, which is a shame, but overall I am feeling optimistic.

Had an audio telephone conversation with J (64) of Ulster, first mentioned in month 4 (part 3) blog. We have messaged fairly regularly since we first met on-line but this had been the first time we had actually heard each other’s voices. He liked my accent and I his. It also amazed me how someone who comes over so shy on-line can so come out of his shell when actually speaking. It seems he’s worried about being kicked off the site if he says the wrong things although I assured him if that were the case, not only I but most of the men I chat to would have been thrown off long ago but he’s not convinced.

I have received a very tempting offer if a certain gent and I hit it off but the question is, do I feel comfortable in accepting it? He is looking for a ‘strong minded lady’.  Incredibly, his main sexual pleasure is to do anything he is told to by ‘his lady’ to please her. He looks at this completely unselfishly as he ‘is programmed‘ by events in his past to do this and he gets his satisfaction from almost venerating [my word as I feel even less comfortable with his] her body in every way, even to the extent that he is happy for her to take lovers whilst he would be utterly faithful. Sounds so hedonistic but having heard his back-story, I actually do believe that this is what he wants but I am struggling to get my head round it. Apart from the fact that I am used to being monogamous, unless I really fell in love with him, I couldn’t help but feel I was using him which does not sit easy with me at all. The whole story has blown my hat off and I can think of little else at the moment. I am trying to keep an open mind until we meet. I think I will even give it a go to see if it helps me make up my mind, but although an offer like his (and I can’t give more details) will only come once in my lifetime, the jury’s out as to whether I feel I can accept it, if indeed he is still offering it to me after we meet. Time will tell…..