Month 8 (Part 3) Nearing the end of the journey

I feel slightly in a state of limbo, excited but a little nervous about the week-end ahead when I hope to meet the gent who has made me this tempting offer and how it might be pivotal to my future life, yet, at the same time, a bit irritated because a lot of fellows I am hoping to meet up with are unable to find the time or source a suitable venue or whatever just when I am ready to move forward. How very dare they not be available at the click of my fingers! I think my Domme personality is beginning to raise its head but not necessarily with the right people, though having read the blog, two or three men have offered to let me take charge!  I have hidden my profile on both dating sites again till things sort themselves out. I have plenty of contacts for now and will see how things go. Some go back almost to the start of my dating journey though we haven’t met yet but they are obviously still interested so I won’t be greedy and encourage more!

Research is still continuing into D/s relationships and how they work and I’m even watching occasional porn clips which I would have been appalled at watching a few months ago. How my boundaries have moved! Even now, I can’t say I enjoy porn but am more interested from a technical point of view.

I think also maybe my blog has run its course. It was never meant to be about my sex life but about my dating journey and whether next week-end’s meeting, assuming it goes ahead, is successful or not, and whether I finally decide to follow that course with my life, I can certainly say I have had the most mind-blowing journey and I’ve enjoyed sharing it. I have also been gratified by the comments and messages of support I’ve received from interested readers. I never thought it would have the wider appeal it seems to have gathered en route. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something else to blog about? I shall certainly write for at least one more week as I 69think some regular  followers may be interested but I’ll see after that. I’m not sure where the journey could now take me and I don’t want it to become boring. It was my birthday a few days ago, I am now 69 which has been commented that it’s an interesting number to be, maybe that’s why it is time to stop writing and start living more.

Month 8 (part 2) Domme training!

Well who’d have thought it? I, the archetypal ‘vanilla sex’ girl, is considering becoming a Domme to a very nice man if we get on well enough when we meet. Although my earlier reading has made me more knowledgeable about the world of BDSM, I didn’t really think I would be considering making this my future sex life! Not sure all my other potential dates would like to see me that way either, I guess, but shall certainly carry on dating till decisions are made and if it does work out, some may be happy to be ‘Friends with Benefits’ as it seems that is allowed in my new role.

If I do agree to go that route, I will embrace it to the best of my ability, hence, once again DommeI am reading avidly books and recommended websites. It actually all sounds pretty awesome! I am aware I’ve always been a bit on the bossy side, a natural organiser and leader but never visualised myself as a Domme. Thank goodness he says I don’t have to dress in leather and wield a whip! I’ll try and keep an open mind but am becoming more and more attracted to the idea the more I talk to him about it. I also need to be very sure that I am making any commitment for the right reasons, there is a lot to consider, not least my Christian faith, which is important to me. Have even discussed the possibility with my vicar, all a bit distressing but heard nothing I wasn’t expecting. However, I am still trying to square the circle and don’t need to make decisions yet.

Meanwhile other dating chats continue. R (67) of Twickenham hadn’t taken offence at my blog at all, he’d just been poorly so not in touch. We postponed our date till he is fully recovered and I am less busy. M (42) of London has also been back in touch. It seems he just can stay away and just as I blogged how proud of him I was for giving me up!!

R of Twickenham is, by his own admission becoming RR (Randy R…). There are frequent chats and video calls, I seem to be taking daily selfies for him – and others – and I hate being in photos at the best of times but then it seems I am becoming a new woman so perhaps that is why I am taking it in my stride.

I will also not put up with guys who only know me slightly through chat and / or one meeting, telling me what I should or should not be doing with my sex life. I put my point of view but if they don’t accept it then I can’t be bothered with them. Luckily I am fortunate to have options and will make my own mind up what I will or won’t do in my own time and my own way so G of Chelmsford (who thinks I’m greener than Kermit) and D of Charing have joined others in the reject file

I thought I was actually going to get a massage this week from A (55) from Westgate but we need somewhere discreet and he wasn’t available mid-week on an evening when I was free and he can’t afford the price of a hotel room at week-end rates and I’m sure not paying for it so that will stay in abeyance for now.

Very much looking forward to a meeting, hopefully next week, with S (60) of Wisbech and maybe R of Twickenham soon too so hope springs eternal.

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