Month 8 (Part 4) Not journey’s end but the start of a new phase

The things some guys will say to get out of a date! Actually do believe this one. The week-end I had so been looking forward to didn’t happen, sadly due to an awful industrial accident, my date was very seriously injured. He was hospitalised and although is now home recovering, I guess the last thing on his mind for now is a romp with me! He e-mailed me to tell me what had happened and say he was sorry but needed to go to bed – there was no innuendo there. I haven’t heard from him for 7 days so am a bit worried, not from my perspective but for him. As I don’t know where he lives exactly, I can’t even take him jelly and ice-cream! I felt as though I had rehearsed for a play that was pulled before the opening night!

Time will tell whether we’ll ever try out the suggested life-style, meanwhile I shall carry on dating, trying to keep an open mind. Thing is, I suppose, as I said in one of the earlier blogs, once the genie is out of the bottle, there’s no getting it back in. I cannot unlearn what I have been learning, but again, if I choose not to try it out, I guess it will slip into the background but I have become more liberal and broad-minded in the process and that cannot be a bad thing.

The prospect of two 2nd dates put a smile back on my face. The first on Monday evening was with R (51) from Newington which followed a similar pattern to the previous one but there was a lot of flirting and teasing in the build up to it so it culminated in dares as to what we would or wouldn’t wear and neither of us backed down. A pretty hot date all round and we both went away with silly grins on our faces.

Then the next day, I got an unexpected message from B (51) from Westbrook. I say unexpected because I hadn’t heard from him since our first date which surprised me as I thought we had both found it pretty hot. I thought the change of heart had been because I wouldn’t promise exclusivity but he now admits he was thrown because I said I wanted a social life too and he was worried about people making wrong assumptions about being seen out with his Mum….. OK, I guess that’s not unreasonable. Just wish he’d said that was the problem, however it seems he personally doesn’t have any issue with the age difference. Guess some people are more worried about public perceptions than others. I suppose I would have been a few months ago though in my defence I did date a 24 year old man when I was 15 who later became my husband and age different relationships were a lot less common then so guess I’ve always slightly gone against ‘the norm’.

He asked if we could meet later that day (he works nights) but I was working so we agreed that the next day would work well for both of us and he invited me to his home and I accepted. There were a lot of messages back and forth that day and a late night video call when he was at work. I woke early and spent time getting ready and doing what needed to be done before leaving home. Finally, I texted for the address and he said he couldn’t meet, he was too tired and would have to work that night. It all sounded too lame so I suggested it might be the age thing again. He said not but admitted there was a problem in my coming to his home as it was not tidy etc. Now actually I absolutely understand that, but why did he suggest it in the first place, or if having thought about it later, cancel at that point? It’s the second time I have got ready for a date to have it cancelled at the last minute and it is not only disappointing, it is a tad humiliating too, especially as in this case, there was no doubt what the expectation of the date was.  I am philosophical and know that it is part of the dating process but do feel let down and irritated. At the moment, I am hoping that something else will happen this week so I finish my regular blog on a high.

Still promises of a future meet from T (55) from Gt. Yarmouth, R (67) from Twickenham, S (60) from Wisbech, D (61) of Ipswich, a massage from A (55) from Westgate and of course M (42) from London. Pity that most of them are so far away! There are also a few others who keep occasional contact so I’m not giving up yet.  Indeed a new name cropped up this week who is local and I am meeting him tonight. Who know what the future holds?

I guess what I have learnt overall is that it’s never too late to try new things and dipping your toe in the water of anything unfamiliar can be a little scary but also very invigorating. I would advise anyone else embarking on a similar journey to mine, whatever their age, to be cautious and not take everyone at face value but that there really are nice people out there and there is good fun to be had, even with people you’ll never meet but are sharing a similar experience with. If nothing else, I have some sexy ‘penfriends’!

I may write the occasional blog on this thread from now on but only if I feel I have something interesting to say. If you want to be notified when I post, you’ll have to press the ‘follow’ button so you get an e-mail when I post or just check back occasionally. I’ll continue to write but may not post it, but then if in retrospect I think any of the ‘storylines’ were worth following I’ll have the right information already written. Beyond that, maybe I‘ll think about another blog. Anyone got any ideas what it should be about? Answers on a postcard (or leave a comment here, better still!).

Once again, thank you anyone who has given me support and encouragement, either publicly or privately. All feedback was much appreciated.Bouquet

Month 8 (Part 3) Nearing the end of the journey

I feel slightly in a state of limbo, excited but a little nervous about the week-end ahead when I hope to meet the gent who has made me this tempting offer and how it might be pivotal to my future life, yet, at the same time, a bit irritated because a lot of fellows I am hoping to meet up with are unable to find the time or source a suitable venue or whatever just when I am ready to move forward. How very dare they not be available at the click of my fingers! I think my Domme personality is beginning to raise its head but not necessarily with the right people, though having read the blog, two or three men have offered to let me take charge!  I have hidden my profile on both dating sites again till things sort themselves out. I have plenty of contacts for now and will see how things go. Some go back almost to the start of my dating journey though we haven’t met yet but they are obviously still interested so I won’t be greedy and encourage more!

Research is still continuing into D/s relationships and how they work and I’m even watching occasional porn clips which I would have been appalled at watching a few months ago. How my boundaries have moved! Even now, I can’t say I enjoy porn but am more interested from a technical point of view.

I think also maybe my blog has run its course. It was never meant to be about my sex life but about my dating journey and whether next week-end’s meeting, assuming it goes ahead, is successful or not, and whether I finally decide to follow that course with my life, I can certainly say I have had the most mind-blowing journey and I’ve enjoyed sharing it. I have also been gratified by the comments and messages of support I’ve received from interested readers. I never thought it would have the wider appeal it seems to have gathered en route. Who knows, maybe I’ll find something else to blog about? I shall certainly write for at least one more week as I 69think some regular  followers may be interested but I’ll see after that. I’m not sure where the journey could now take me and I don’t want it to become boring. It was my birthday a few days ago, I am now 69 which has been commented that it’s an interesting number to be, maybe that’s why it is time to stop writing and start living more.

Month 8 (part 2) Domme training!

Well who’d have thought it? I, the archetypal ‘vanilla sex’ girl, is considering becoming a Domme to a very nice man if we get on well enough when we meet. Although my earlier reading has made me more knowledgeable about the world of BDSM, I didn’t really think I would be considering making this my future sex life! Not sure all my other potential dates would like to see me that way either, I guess, but shall certainly carry on dating till decisions are made and if it does work out, some may be happy to be ‘Friends with Benefits’ as it seems that is allowed in my new role.

If I do agree to go that route, I will embrace it to the best of my ability, hence, once again DommeI am reading avidly books and recommended websites. It actually all sounds pretty awesome! I am aware I’ve always been a bit on the bossy side, a natural organiser and leader but never visualised myself as a Domme. Thank goodness he says I don’t have to dress in leather and wield a whip! I’ll try and keep an open mind but am becoming more and more attracted to the idea the more I talk to him about it. I also need to be very sure that I am making any commitment for the right reasons, there is a lot to consider, not least my Christian faith, which is important to me. Have even discussed the possibility with my vicar, all a bit distressing but heard nothing I wasn’t expecting. However, I am still trying to square the circle and don’t need to make decisions yet.

Meanwhile other dating chats continue. R (67) of Twickenham hadn’t taken offence at my blog at all, he’d just been poorly so not in touch. We postponed our date till he is fully recovered and I am less busy. M (42) of London has also been back in touch. It seems he just can stay away and just as I blogged how proud of him I was for giving me up!!

R of Twickenham is, by his own admission becoming RR (Randy R…). There are frequent chats and video calls, I seem to be taking daily selfies for him – and others – and I hate being in photos at the best of times but then it seems I am becoming a new woman so perhaps that is why I am taking it in my stride.

I will also not put up with guys who only know me slightly through chat and / or one meeting, telling me what I should or should not be doing with my sex life. I put my point of view but if they don’t accept it then I can’t be bothered with them. Luckily I am fortunate to have options and will make my own mind up what I will or won’t do in my own time and my own way so G of Chelmsford (who thinks I’m greener than Kermit) and D of Charing have joined others in the reject file

I thought I was actually going to get a massage this week from A (55) from Westgate but we need somewhere discreet and he wasn’t available mid-week on an evening when I was free and he can’t afford the price of a hotel room at week-end rates and I’m sure not paying for it so that will stay in abeyance for now.

Very much looking forward to a meeting, hopefully next week, with S (60) of Wisbech and maybe R of Twickenham soon too so hope springs eternal.

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