Month 7 (Part 3) Feeling a tad jaded

Got back from first date with A of Westgate as mentioned in last blog and checked messages on line as usual and there was a very nice one from a new contact D (61) of Ipswich. We chatted on line for a couple of hours and seemed to get on well. He asked if we could phone chat next morning, which we did – twice – and agreed that in spite of the distance, it would be worth trying to meet. Actually was quite excited at the prospect of this one but have learnt not to count chickens and just as well as he seems to have perceptibly cooled over the last week and I’m not sure why.

Two other new contacts who seem keen but are really too far away have not only texted but phoned as well which was unusual to me until recently and are worth a mention as they may well crop up again.  R (67) from Twickenham who is going to be the next ‘Bad Boy’ to replace M of London, I think, with his constant texts, phone calls and even video calls. The other is T (55) from Gt. Yarmouth. He’s too far away but visits a friend in Kent in the summer so hopes to fit in a date then. He even tells me he has massage skills to so maybe hope of a good massage yet!

I had asked M of London if we were to go to bed once, would it ‘scratch the itch’ for him or did he think he’d only want more? His answer was that he’d be insatiable! Our last (I believe) conversation continued:

Then maybe best not to start. I’d come round to the idea that maybe just once would satisfy curiosity. Think you like the chase.

We need to do it

Not if it’s going to make life harder. [conversation continued about difficulties of meeting up for a good few weeks anyway and he said he could wait if he had to]

But for the longer term you need to find someone else anyway as if I do form an attachment, I shall not be unfaithful, it’s not my MO.

But you will fall for me

The reason I’m taking my time is that I’m picky and falling for you is not an option. You are taken. I know I could fall for you. Anyway, sex apart, I am too old for you. If you’re really trying to get me out of your system, delete our conversations and my number. I will understand and be proud of you for doing it – even if I miss our chats…….

I rattled on a little more telling him he should sort out his problems with his girlfriend because it is important. I haven’t heard from him since but am aware he has looked again at my profile on the website and re-visits our WhatsApp conversations (as I do too) but he is trying to do the right thing and break himself of the habit of contacting me.  I am proud of him (even though I know I’ll miss his messages) as I know he was hooked and if things had gone on I was in for some heartache too.

I still chat almost daily to my young friend in Africa whom I met when I first joined site 4. I seem to friends with his whole family now and I do keep a lonely young man company when he needs it sometimes. He lives in a major city but his mother lives in a village, some miles away. He calls me Mommy too and I’ve spoken to his real Mum and she is happy that I take an interest in him. It is a two way street because I have learned a lot about the way of life in his country for an ordinary person. If I ever manage to visit, which I hope I shall do one day, I won’t just get the tourist view.ugandan-flag-graphic

Well some like my blog and for others it’s a turn off –  better to be honest and find out early. This younger gent who might have been prepared to drive quite a distance to meet is obviously of the latter variety but it is good for me to have both points of view and that keeps my feet on the ground. This after sending a link to blog and a day’s silence from him:

So have I turned you off? If so quite understand. Just like to know.

Why do you want to tell strangers about your sex life? X

Not sex life exactly more dating journey. It’s cathartic to write and gives me a buzz that people I don’t know, in different countries even, enjoy reading it. I don’t think it’s smutty, just a little naughty here and there. Several women have told me they can identify with it. Some men like it, others don’t. That’s why I’m now upfront about it. Better they know from the start than I spring it later.

Well if you’re not really serious about finding someone then it’s up to you but it will turn a few men off and might send out a message you’re a bit of a time waster x

Ok thanks for the honest comment. Good luck in your search! Xx

So that’s told me! It might give the perception that I’m a time waster but actually think I waste less of other peoples’ time by sifting before I meet than raising hopes if I have no intention of following through. If informing them via the blog tells them how I do it, isn’t that just being honest?

Am getting bored with site 4 so have hidden my profile there for now. Actually went through the registration process of 3 more sites in one evening, filling out profiles etc. only to find their ‘free version’ is as useless as the first 3 sites I was on so deleted them straight away. At least I am more knowledgeable now as to what is worth paying for (for me) and what is not. No dates imminent but 2 booked in the coming fortnight and no shortage of chat so that will have to do me for now.

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3 thoughts on “Month 7 (Part 3) Feeling a tad jaded

  1. Time-waster indeed! I hear a lot from my friends on dating sites about men chipping in with unsolicited advice on how to make themselves more attractive and how to stop putting men off (usually with no indication that they’re putting them off at all except their personal dislike of something). When I had mine up some years ago, one guy advised me that I should take down the picture among my few pictures that had another guy in. “No self-respecting man wants to see that.” He said. I told him “No man who has any respect for me would expect me to pretend I didn’t have a past” and then I told him where to go.

    You’re being honest and up front, and this is a lot of new territory to you. Writing about it online is a way of processing that experience, and of reaching out to others who have either gone through similar and can relate, or might like to but are still plucking up the courage. Anyone uncomfortable with you telling people about your life has no place in it.

    x

    Liked by 1 person

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