Month 6 (Part 3) “Once more unto the breach” and all that.

Well holidays are over but Easter is not quite here. I had intended staying off all sites until Easter had passed but one person changed my mind. Having told all the guys I was previously chatting to that I was taking a break and there was to be an embargo on chatting to men whilst I was away, all respected that except one, Naughty Boy, M of London. He sent me occasional messages on WhatsApp which, although I ticked him off, I was quite pleased to receive. After I got home again, he stepped up the pressure a little. Then after a few days, late one evening when he knew I was on my own, said that he was going to catch a train down now. I didn’t believe him at first but he said he was looking up train times and getting dressed. It put me in a real tiz as I’d had a drink or two. I said, “What about getting to work in the morning?” He said he’d take a sickie and spend the day in bed with me. I started thinking oh dear, I need to change the bed sheets……. He was of course, only joking but in doing so he’d made me reveal my hand that I wouldn’t have left him standing on the station alone, I’d have brought him home and probably let him seduce me. Mental note to self: Never play poker!    Poker hand

Next day I felt very unsettled and was aware I was in danger of falling for this man who should be ‘out of bounds’ to me. I texted and told him I was going back on the websites to dilute his influence and why and he agreed that would be a good idea. The last thing we needed was to complicate the situation further so later that day I re-instated my profile on both sites, was greeted back by several old friends who had missed me and got a flurry of new interest.

Two people who were new but relatively local arranged dates which would have been before Easter. One postponed because he had to wait for a delivery which was late and the other either removed his profile or blocked me. Either way I thought it most rude so he’s joined others in the Reject file. He seemed really nice and genuine but there you go, I’m philosophical about these things, I will have had a well-behaved Lenten period without trying!

Because I was asked how many men I had dated since I started on this journey, I decided to have a bit of an audit, possible because of my files and the conversations I still keep as current. Since I started and ignoring conversations that have less than about 4 exchanges back and forth but including scammers, I have had/am having conversations with nearly 100 men but I have only met with 8 in person. I don’t think that sounds outrageous even if some of the non meets were a tad disappointing.

One ‘old friend’ who had previously been living on the wrong side of the Dartford Crossing for dating convenience has now moved nearer and is living with his father so I have agreed to meet him after Easter and another 2 new acquaintances who seem very nice have also asked for a date so there is still life. I’ve now been at this for 6 months, have I got anything to show for it? Well it’s probably taken more time than it should but I don’t regret that. I have learned a lot, feel more self-confident, dress in a more modern and flattering way and I’ve enjoyed writing a blog so all in all, I think it has been a worthwhile experience. Now I have got better (but obviously not perfect) at separating the wheat from the chaff, maybe the next 6 months will bring me a nice result. We’ll see.

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