Month 5 (Part 1) Am I a cougar?

Is one considered a cougar if one hasn’t actually had sexual relations with a younger man? How much younger do they have to be to be thus branded? I seemed to have a raft of men in their 40’s and some even in their 30’s with whom I had quite lengthy conversations, sometimes stretching over several weeks. All said they were keen to meet even though I expressed doubts over the age difference but when I actually agreed to make a date, most backed off or disappeared from the website. I think that’s understandable and I can’t even say it’s been a waste of time, as I usually enjoy the banter whilst we are talking. One cheeky young cub (32) from London messaged me. The complete exchange is visible in this screenshot, you do have to give as good as you get when playing these gamesscreenshot-2

These are some of the younger guys I tried to meet up with, but obviously knowing that they would not be for a lasting relationship however well we got on. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy an evening in each other’s company though.

A (44) from Sittingbourne was the guy I had to cancel on the previous week because of my boiler problems. He asked to meet in my home town, something I try to avoid, but as he would be working here but could get away for a coffee, I agreed and he suggested 9.30am! Gosh, I would have to get my act together, I’m not used to early starts these days.  We had a coffee and chatted easily for an hour. He’s a bit more into politics than I would like these days but he’s quite personable and attractive. We exchanged a couple of horror stories each about some of the weird personalities we’d come across on dating websites. The reference below about being whipped till he bled, was one of his.  We parted with a peck on the cheek and I thought that was probably the end of that. I didn’t get home for over an hour as had gone on to do some other jobs and when I got back found a message from him. I’ve copied part of the exchange below. You could have knocked me down with a feather, I hadn’t got that vibe from him at all!

  • Thanks for meeting thought you looked very sexy
  • Thank you Sir. Yes it was good to have a chat. Xx
  • Oh yes lol I’m pretty normal I hope and you were easy to get on with as well
  • Certainly makes life (and dating) easier! Lol. Back to work Young Man!
  • Mmmm I like being bossed around
  • Ha ha, as long as you’re not tied up and whipped till you bleed!
  • lol actually I have to admit I do enjoy being OTK spanked [Over the Knee-I had to look it up!]
  • Perhaps that’s what gave the barrister encouragement?
  • Actually I know it was I have to admit I would like to try it but it was all the rest of the messages put me off. So anyway what’s wrong with a woman ripping a hunky builders clothes off instead?
  • I think you’ve just looked at my profile again and I at yours. It’s not the heavy metal/classical music difference that makes us not a match but if you look at our answers on the questions, especially the sexual ones, we really have different tastes and I wouldn’t suit you. That said, you’re a nice guy and easy to talk to. We both know where we stand and I think could talk frankly together. If you wanted another chat at some future time to share dating experiences or whatever, I wouldn’t mind that at all. I just don’t think we’d make a good dating couple. Do you agree? xx
  • I agree we are very different For example I would probably liked to have had sex with you today and respectfully I know you like to take your time. If your interested I’m ok with friends and go with the flow if that’s sexual I’m good with that or just a coffee and chat that’s good too What you think ???
  • That’s ok as long as we are both free to see/date with anyone else. An occasional meet is fine, with or without any sexual content. You really surprise me that you fancy me at all sexually. I didn’t get that vibe at all. I am aware that I can be bossy and I also probably look the Dom sort of woman to some but it’s really not me at all. Think it must be my ‘Mum’s stern look’. Lol
  • Sure I’m really good with that and yes I was actually thinking how much I would of liked to spend the rest of the day in bed with you So if you fancy having sex all day no strings perhaps we should give it a go

Just goes to show, I’m still not always good at reading the signs (if they were there). He was so animated talking about politics, maybe I glazed over!

Then on Sunday evening I agreed to meet M (39) of Fulham. We had been having some quite full-on discussions for at least two weeks or more. He’s 6’1”, very good looking, has his own business and intellectually really interesting to talk to when I could bring the conversation around to less physical matters. I really could not see what attraction he saw in me, he could lift his little finger and have ladies of all ages flocking to him unless there was something amiss I was as yet unaware of. For this meeting, it was the first time since my very first date in London that I had felt really nervous. I think it was because it actually mattered to me whether he liked me or not and although all the advance signals seemed good, I was only too aware that until you actually meet, you cannot be sure there is any chemistry. I asked to speak on the phone first, heeding the advice given earlier and all boded well. Sadly when it actually came to the day, he must have changed his mind. Understandable but I think he could have had the decency to just say he couldn’t make it.

I’ll talk more about G (43) of Worthing in my next post but we had been due to meet on the Monday but as I had laryngitis and couldn’t talk we rescheduled for the Friday. At short notice a Hungarian fellow (K) who lived not too far away asked for a meet. His profile said 64 but in chat, he said he was 45. We made a tentative date to meet in the bar of a hotel on the Wednesday evening. My laryngitis was improving and although I got ready for the meet, my heart wasn’t really in it as I was really looking forward to the postponed date on Friday with G. A couple of hours before we were due to meet, K messaged me to check I was still willing. I said I was but then he said he was really only 35 and would prefer not to meet where we had arranged. He just wanted a kiss and a cuddle in the back of a car. Another one for the Reject file! Just as I was blocking his number from WhatsApp he managed to send a picture of the usual piece of anatomy. Best rid of that one then. Now more was riding on Friday’s date.

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