Simultaneously with talking to the young men mentioned in the last blog, I was keeping up conversations with several other potential suiters of all ages. One thing I had become aware of was that men of my own age or older were mainly (but not always) looking for a replacement for their deceased wife/partner for companionship, at best to slip into graceful old age with, to sit in front of the TV and have a cuddle and a drink, at worst, to have someone to look after them and cook them nice meals. I realised that whilst that might be me at some time in the future, for now I actually want more from life and a partner. I still want to live a little, have adventures maybe, as long as not too scary, travel, go to events. For this reason I am certainly more drawn to men younger than myself and luckily for me there seem to be plenty who are happy to oblige, the issue is, where do I start? I’m like a child in a sweetie shop! All this attention, even though some of it turns out to be from more frauds, can’t help but turn a girl’s head. It has certainly done great things for my self-esteem which is no bad thing.
Four more men got past first checks for not being who they said but given enough rope, tripped themselves up eventually. Always a bit of a disappointment though because I start to build a relationship with the guy they say and I am hoping they are. Two I had even given an e-mail address to and we had exchanged photographs but never mind. I accept it is part of the challenge and as there are others in the wings, thankfully, can just move on.
I have now joined website 5, arguably one of the largest in the world and, for me, this has brought best results notwithstanding the aforesaid frauds. I quickly made up my mind that I would leave website 3 at the end of January when my subscription ceased and would then remove my profile completely there. I would just stick with the free version of 4 and 5 till I decide I have my match /matches or have had enough and give up completely. The reason I say match or matches is because I am becoming aware that if I can’t find one man in reasonable travelling distance who will suit me, I may decide to have several friends that I see from time to time. I would only do that with everyone knowing the score and be happy for them to have a reciprocal arrangement. I don’t like and won’t do deceit but am becoming pragmatic as I go on. If I find one person that can offer me the whole package, I would be loyal and faithful but if I don’t find that person, I am going to be selfish for a few years.
Again, I am grateful for my fast-track education from previously mentioned media. Not that I was completely ignorant of various ‘predilections’ but wasn’t aware quite how often my photo or my profile (usually the former) would encourage men with such to make contact. I think I am broadminded (though one fellow suggests I am not and tells me to read 50 Shades of Grey!) and I might be willing to try some activities but I admit that it is all new to me. The ages vary as well amongst these guys who always seem to be very good looking which makes it harder! M of Dunstable(52) and B of Dartford (37) both have a Mummy fetish. I might cope with that if they don’t want me to put them in a nappy.
J of London (63) thinks I look like a disciplinarian (and he needs slippering or paddling occasionally) as does S from Manchester (55) who asked how I would punish him for playing practical jokes on me. Oh my, it’s a whole new world for me.
On website 5 there appeared to be section for men who only are interested in ‘Curvy Women’. I thought I’d have a quick look but found I needed to re-register. I only stayed on there for 10 minutes and it scared the life out of me. I was besieged by messages from all round the world. I came off straight away and haven’t even returned to de-register! More scary is that, although luckily I registered with my ‘special anonymous’ e-mail, I hadn’t realised that I have also been spammed with loads of e-mails from people via that site. I only found them when I looked for something else in my spam. How did the guys get my e-mail? That shouldn’t be available from the website!