Month 2: Stalkers

After the disappointment of L from Cheapside, and also feeling rather foolish, I re-instated my membership of dating website 1 (when I ring-fingersuspended it they had given me another month free-of-charge and I’m never one to miss a bargain) and started all over. About this time I also decided that I should remove my wedding ring. I             suppose I have used it as a symbol that I am not available over the past years but seemed inappropriate now.

It is as well that from the start of this exercise, I have kept ‘files’ on anyone I talk to at all seriously. Maybe it is that old habits die hard but there were several advantages. For one thing it helped me to remember who was who and what had been said, it also meant I didn’t have to keep finding their profiles on the website and, as one knows every time someone visits your profile, the person concerned needn’t be aware when I was having a sneaky peek to remind myself who they were etc. However, they proved to have a more important use. These are just Word documents on which I copy the web profile, any pictures and copies of any significant e-mails or messages received added to the bottom. Amongst some of the other winks and expressions of interest, out of the blue I got an e-mail from Jack. ‘Thanks for sending me your email id, i must Confess you are very beautiful and i hope we can become best of friends, and hopefully take things to a new level, like i told you i am new to online dating and you are the first lady i am speaking with and i also hope you would be my last.’

The e-mail continued in the same vein and had a couple of nice pictures attached but by now I was very used to L’s style of writing and besides, in my files I knew I hadn’t spoken to a Jack and also knew who I had given this special e-mail address to. He got a short shrift e-mail back and I blocked him. One final thought on L. He hadn’t asked for any money so where was the scam? I am sure in my own mind he was mailing from abroad. I think he wanted me to meet him at the airport and take him to a hotel in the hopes I would now be so infatuated, that he would be able to persuade me to help him get a visa or whatever. I don’t know what he thought I would think when my handsome actor didn’t arrive, who knows? As I say, just a theory but the only logical one I can come up with.

Another strong suit came from J of Bray but by now, if I couldn’t find the photos on the internet myself, using the method my daughter had taught me, I sent them on to her as she is much better at it than I am. This guy hadn’t posted a photo but agreed to send some by e-mail, I supposed because there are fewer people who might catch you out. Within his long e-mails he used two expressions which stuck in my mind. The photos turned out to be of some millionaire publisher (no wonder he said he lived in Bray with an income of over £100K – earnings like that are always a danger sign!)

Another attractive individual was J from Walderslade but again his lifestyle seemed too good to believe but I try to be open-minded whilst cautious so we e-mailed and in his first long missive he used the phrases: ‘gentleman who lost my ex wife from bloody cancer’ and ‘but I am looking for my soul mate someone who has the locks to fit my keys, and the keys to fit my locks.’ And they immediately rang a bell. Back to my trusty files and there they were, sure enough. Sloppy copy and paste job , I thought!

I realise that whether I was being stalked by one man or two, I needed to get off the first site at the end of the month but before that I had joined Dating website 2, a bit more expensive but certainly more upmarket. It was not as good for me in that anyone I took a fancy to was either already seeing someone else or didn’t reciprocate my interest but I did get my first date out of it.

P of Croydon also hadn’t posted a photo which made me cautious but his profile looked interesting. I asked for a photo and he said he’d text me one if I wanted. I agreed and gave him my mobile number and a very nice photo was sent and it all checked out ok! He didn’t much like texting so asked if we could talk on the phone. As he already had my number for the photo I agreed and found he had a lovely Irish accent (not unexpected as that was in his profile). In conversation I asked what his former profession had been and he said he had been a GP and then the penny dropped why no photo, I guess the same would apply to teachers, lecturers, consultants etc. This is now why I don’t assume I know why.

We agreed to meet in London for a coffee as I would be in town that day anyway and I was quite excited as I really thought we could be a match. Sadly when we met, it appeared his photo could have been 10 years out of date but I might have forgiven him that if he hadn’t been so boring. The feeling was obviously mutual as we parted politely with no plans for a future meet. It was good to have broken my duck though.

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